My morning was:
Awake at 8. Cold shower. Coffee, bread and an omelette. Sit around the kitchen table and talk until the afternoon.
My afternoon:
Head to UNATEK to do some internet-ing and then meet with Casimir to discuss our project and our partnership. Afterwards he takes us for a tour of the campus of UNATEK and we see a lot we haven’t before, some empty classrooms, the library, CERID (Center for Research and Development) and where our office will most likely be. He also lets us pile into his car and drives us the 4 km to the new branch of UNATEK campus that has just been donated by the government two weeks ago. It has a lot of potential to be a great space of learning. He lives right behind our house so gives us a ride home.
My evening:
We sit out on our patio and enjoy the warm air and sunset. A group of school girls see us and wave, and they are brave enough to come over and talk to us. Only one speaks any English but the rest speak French. We were warned that people would be interested in knowing if we were married and had children, and those two questions were the first two out of their mouths. Surprisingly, it has been the first time anyone has asked us that, but we haven’t interacted too much with the rural people as we have the city folk. After they take off, Regina stops by and joins us for dinner, and Sigfried comes too.
My thoughts:
As I am spending more time in Rwanda, I am starting to feel more and more strange. I haven’t really been commenting on how I have been feeling here, I’ve just been writing the factual events that have been taking place, but now bottling in everything is starting to be an emotional strain. I might as well try to purge it here. The poverty here is far beyond that that I see in Canada, and it smashes right through the hard shell I’ve developed against people asking for money every time I encounter it. The kids run up to me rubbing there stomachs begging for money. Mother’s hold their babies out that have blood running out of their mouths while they scream in their arms. Right or wrong, in Vancouver I can assuage myself by thinking that there are social systems in place that can help these people, there are jobs they “could” get, and there is drug addiction that is arguably (arguably! I’m comforting myself here!) that person’s own responsibility. Here, it’s just stark poverty and these people have nothing to help them. I want to give them all my money. It is like a a stinging slap in the face when I think about how I live. In Canada it’s so easy to think about how much more you want, how it’d be nice to have this and that, and here, just thinking of my expensive cameras and computer is goddamn embarrassing.
And so I have all this money that I’m excited to give away, to spend in the Rwandan economy and perhaps provide employment for people. But in doing so, I have to essentially live above the people here. We hired an out of work cook who cleans and does our laundry, which is nice, we’re giving someone a job, but at the same time, we’re living like kings still compared to these people and it makes me feel fractured. As far as she can tell, all I ever do is drink coffee, eat the meals she makes me and type on my computer. That’s all she’s ever seen me do, but really, that IS all I do here. I have this feeling that I am not doing anything, I’m just here standing still, getting slight exposure to how the world is but refusing to come down from the ivory tower I’m used to living in. I’m not alleviating a thing, I’m just gawking.
The only reason I am feeling better is because of the conversation that Regina, Sigfried, Kara, Lama and I had last night at the dinner table. The three of us have noticed red X’s painted on lots of the buildings along the main street in Kibungo and have wondered what they meant, and even asked about them. We’ve recently discovered that it means the buildings have been marked for demolition because the city wants to renovate and the government wants to start improving the country. This is all a great idea, except these houses and stores that are going to be destroyed is all some people have, and if they don’t have the money to rebuild or buy into the renovations they are just out of luck and have to move somewhere else. Talking to Regina, it is obvious that there are two sides to the story, but it seems like the lack of money for some of the people is tying their hands and they have no options. Even though they knew for a couple months this was coming, without money what could they possibly do about it?
So I decided I am going to make a documentary about it. It will be simple, I am going to interview all the people who are losing their house or store, and just ask them what their thoughts are. What do they think about it, how do they feel, if something is wrong, how should it be, what would be better? I just want to get their perspective of the events happening in Kibungo. I would also love to interview all the ministers and people in positions of power responsible for the renovations, and see what they have to say. I just want to present an objective take on what’s happening in Kibungo, Rwanda. If people watch it, they can decide for themselves if what is happening is right or wrong, maybe they’ll think of answers, who knows. But thinking about DOING something is a relief. I think just interviewing these people and giving them an opportunity to speak counts for something. I am so restless being exposed to everything here and doing nothing about it. So far all I’ve really done is acquire a great deal of guilt. So now, at least, I’m feeling slightly better and I’m really looking forward to starting something.
